Sunday, 9 September 2012

What A Lonely Day !

Hai ! :)

Today is Sunday. Yesterday is Saturday. Tomorrow is Monday. wheeeeww ! What a day.

So, yesterday, I woke up in one of my class mate's room. Haha. It's the second time I did hang over there until the clock strikes 10 o'clock. We had a long chat, and laugh a lot, shout a lot, sang a songs, and yes, we had this very serious talk about life.

There's so much that had happen lately among us. Among my beloved close friends. Among my class mates. And yeah, we had a talk about it. We shared our opinion about what we should do, what we supposed to do and so on, but one things I can't get off my mind through this conversations is Aida's words.
" Tak payahlah bercinta. Sakit bha tu "

So, bergantung kepada setiap insan lah, bagaimana nak uruskan CINTA agar tak terlalu menyakitkan diri anda sendiri.

Back to the topic! Today is my lonely day ! :)
Lyeen asked me to hang out, but I didn't feel into it. So, I just stuck myself in my room, listening to musics, doing some self-reflection, do some reading, messaging, rearrange my stuff, and my room, do some karaoke, updated the Pesta Hoki's file. And really awful to admit, crying again. 

I am not crying because of a person, but because of the memories that keep haunts me every moment I am alone. Just the memories, not the person that paints the memories in my life. And not to forget, I had been in a very busy days lately, being ignored, being blamed on, being forced. Worst of all, I miss my family so much. And that's brought the tears in my eyes.

You know, today I feel very sad. and lonely. and missing something. longing for something. I can feel it when I smile, and I am not sure what does that smiles looks on me. For real, I know it's fake. It's like I'm watching everyone that so close to me, now pulling me away, and attached to other person, and ignored me, and forget about my presence and then out of nowhere I blame myself for that. Maybe they're sick of my company. And again, I blame myself for that.

That's the end of the story about my lonely day.

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