Thursday 15 May 2014

Missing Her

Perkara paling sakit di dunia ni bagi aku adalah apabila Mak aku terluka. Whether it is physically or mentally. Aku tak mampu lihat, atau membayangkan Mak aku simpan sakit hati, menangis atau rasa kecewa. Yang aku mampu hanya membenci orang yang buat Mak aku begitu, dan mungkin berdendam. Dan nangis.

Aku juga pernah buat Mak aku nangis. And that was the most regretted days I had.

Kau pernah nampak mak kau nangis depan kau? Sebab kau? Perasaan dia bila kau nampak air mata tu macam dada kau nak meletup. Sakit sangat. Kalau boleh kau nak hentak kepala kau di dinding. Biar pecah. Atau ambil pisau tikam dada kau. Biar rasa sakit tu hilang terus.

Dia takkan pernah bagitahu dia sakit hati. Atau terasa. No. Never. Dia akan diam. Simpan. Nangis sebelum tidur. Nangis semasa dia bersendirian di tempat kerjanya.

I am far away. At least kalau aku ada di rumah, malam-malam Mak boleh juga bercerita sikit-sikit dengan aku. Walaupun tak menyeluruh, at least she have someone to talk to. But I'm glad she open up to me, when I ask what is it that bothers her. She is not someone that will easily talks about her feeling. Apatah lagi aku jauh dari rumah, dan dia tahu aku jenis sensitif dengan topik sebegini. But then, she must had bottled up the heart-ache, that despite Dad asking her to never tell these stories to me, she told me anyway.

Sorry, Mom.

I miss you Mom. I missed you so much. I missed home. I just wish that things will turn out better. And that I'll be able to do something for you, Icha and Dad in the future. Wait for me! :'(

Saturday 10 May 2014

HOME





Missing you that my heart aches a lot.
:'(

Happy Mother's Day Mom.
I love you so much.
May God ease your heart, brighten your days and hugs you in His warm loves.
I love you.

Monday 5 May 2014

Tonight







Literally,
the way you manage to make me blush thru text,
the way you manage to make me smiles thru text,
the way you make me fall.... thru text!

The little things---
'Goodnight miss'
'Have a nice day miss'
'fuyohh tough'
'you are one of a kind miss'

-----that is something memorable.

And then I realize,
we are something that goes nowhere.

*long sigh*