I SEE YOUR FAKE SMILE
- I'm sorry, it's a lot of reading but you need to read it.
Because believe me, darling, I know that smile. I know what it feels
like to reply, "I'm good." when someone asks you how you are. But not
because you are good, because you're just so used to saying it, that you
don't even think about it any more. You don't even realize the question
that's being asked. Your response is just so rehearsed, that it comes
out with no effort.
Just like that beautiful smile, darling. It breaks
your heart to lie to those you love. It's so hard to tell them
everything is perfectly fine. But it's even harder to tell them the
truth. You don't want to be in such a vulnerable state. You can't handle
that kind of pity. But you gotta believe me when I tell you, darling,
you're not alone. I'm here for you.
I understand that reflection you see
every night. The one you don't even recognize any-more. That same smile
that you've been wearing for years to
fool everyone into thinking you're fine, has finally fooled you. Just
for that split second, when you look in the mirror and see that stranger
smiling back at you, you believe it. You actually think you just might
be happy. But then, your heart starts to hurt, your body starts to ache,
your tears start to flood, and all the memories come back. You're not
okay. You're not happy. You're dying from the inside out, and nobody
even bothers to notice. You feel like you're alone and everyone has
given up on you.
But you have to believe me, you're not alone, darling.
I'm here. I'm right holding your hand. I'm rubbing your back as you cry
on my shoulder. Even if you can't see me, or hear me. I'm here. And I'm
not going anywhere. because I know what it feels like to want to just
throw it all away and say, "fuck it". I know what it feels to think,
"I'm not worth it. Nobody cares about me, and everyone leaves. So it's
my turn. I'm going to be the one to leave this time, and leave the
hurting and alone." But darling, you are so incredibly worth it.
Your
life matters to me. Even if we've never talked, or if I don't even know
your name. I'm here for you. And I care about you. I don't want you to
go anywhere. Maybe I'm your best-friend, maybe I'm your mother. Maybe
I'm your baby sister,or your father that's never home. I care about you,
and I don't want you to go anywhere. I know it's tough darling, but hang in
there. Do it for me. Do it for everyone who's never told you they loved
you. I'm so sorry you have this fake smile every day, but stay strong,
darling.
Stay strong and hold on to the mystery of tomorrow ♥
# God bless those who cried every night, whispering somebody out there would reach out for them.
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