I Miss You

Rindu sangat. Rindu sangat-sangat. Sangat rindu. Sangat-sangat rindu. Ni gambar Mama dan Papa saya. Yes. Inilah gambar pertama yang saya tampal di bilik saya di IPG Kampus Bahasa Melayu ni. Inspirasi. Kekuatan saya. Dan kelemahan saya.

They say, once you are not in a relationship or the couples thing anymore, you will realize that there's so much you actually didn't realize before, when you are in that relationship. Well, walaupun saya tidak pernah bercouple ni semasa di IPG KBM ini, so far la, HAHA, tapi saya pernah rapat dengan kawan saya. Dan yes, pernah mengabaikan such things in my life. So, the saying "Loves makes you blind to your surrounding", and "When you are in love, all your eyes can see is the person you are in love with", is totally agreed by me.

HEY hey hey. Forget the nonsense about the love-couple and all. This post is actually about my parents. I miss them so much that just looking at their picture (this picture) makes me cry. Cry and cry again and again. I just miss them so much. I just can't express how much I miss them, how much I wanted to see them. Oh God. Oh God.. Oh God... I just miss them so much.

"Masuk sahaja ke bilik, duduk di atas kerusi, menghadap gambar Mama Papa, and then bercakap satu orang. 

'Ma, Pa, rindunya sama kamu.'

'Ma, Pa, hari ni kawan saya macam ni macam tu. Sedihnya saya.'

' Ma, saya sakit hati lagi hari ni.'

'Ma, Pa, kamu sihat ka ney? Saya rindu betul sama kamu ni.'

And then, saya menangis. Perasaan yang masa tu saya tak tahu macam mana nak describe. Saya rasa dada saya berat, saya rasa dada saya sesak, saya rasa saya nak cakap sesuatu, tapi saya tidak tahu apa, saya rasa macam nak teriak, tapi tak tahu di mana, dan kenapa perlu teriak. Saya rasa kalau boleh, saya nak tumbuk-tumbuk dada saya, sebab saya merasakan sesuatu yang sangat-sangat tak selesa di sana. Saya rasa macam nak jumpa seseorang, then nangis depan dia, bagitahu dia yang saya rasa sunyi sangat, saya rasa rindu sangat, sayarasa tertekan sangat, saya rasa sedih sangat, dan saya rasa sakit sangat. BUT,  I just can't. And then I end up crying."

Seriously, I miss my Mama and Papa so much. Like so much. Oh Loving God, bless them. Forgive all their sins, and give them Your peace, while they spends their days with thanksgiving for Your great blessing!

# Sibuk macam mana pun, telefonlah keluarga walapun hanya seminit dua minit sahaja. Or, just text someone in your family. Ask how they are, and tell them that you are busy. We never know, perhaps today is our last day to show them that we care, or today is the last day we can hear them. Who knows? :')