Rasa kosong sangat. Tak ada apa-apa yang membuatkan saya teruja di sini. Well, my friends did. They did excite me but.. somehow there's something stayed empty in me :D It's strange. This feeling is strange. And the emptiness makes me a stranger to my friends too.
Many things distract me from my tutorials. I miss the Askar Wataniah's routines, my Askar Wataniah's buddies, I'd nearly gone crazy missing my family, and I did a crazy things to get away from this craziness. Weird huh ? I can't understand myself very well too. at this moment. In this situation. I get moody easily, I can be very sensitive, and in a moment, I can be very happy, and I can be very blur.
What is this actually ? What's happening ? It's like I don't know myself. I do things that I know I will regret later, yet I did it. I say bad words a lot. I hurt other's feeling often. I became too selfish and egois. This isn't me. But I don't know what to do. I laugh a lot just to get away from this strange feeling. I talk a lot just to ignore this feeling.
The feeling of breaking down. And I don't know why ! It's strange. Unknown.
The days passes, just passes. And until today, I'm looking into myself. What did I do wrong until there's a feeling of something wrong happening within me now ?
I want to talk about this to somebody, but wouldn't it annoys them to hear all this crap ?
Empty. Empty..
# emptiness
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